More Trees to the Slaughter

Those poor inoffensive trees. What did they ever do to deserve to be turned into PRESRT STD U. S Postage Paid?

First up is Trader Joe's. High end supermarket with high end prices. Overblown ad copy too. Pass.

Shopwise....some missing kid that's 46? Furniture, cheesy home improvements and Geico. Toss.

Wachovia, pronounced Walk-All-Over-Ya. Customer Referral Program....here goes.......Stay Away!!!! So much for getting 25 bucks.

Town of Cary, Annual Water Quality Report....unread, besides last year for a few days we couldn't even drink the water. Toss

Time Warner Cable wants me to sign up for watching advertising on an idiot box, overpriced high speed access and a phone system that will be as dependable as the network it rides on. Uh Huh. Toss.

Midweek Values.....flooring and yet even more cheesy home improvement. Toss.

Money Mailer, "Like Getting Money In Your Mailbox". Not. Toss.

Geico, sez, "See how much you could save." Toss.

American Express Business Gold Rewards Card. Brags they are waiving an annual 125 buck fee if I join up. Uh, what about next year? Fake credit card glued to the letter. Also an arbitration clause which means no throwing lawyers at em' if they don't behave. Shred.

AT&T....wants to sell me satellite television in High Definition. What, waste my time on my butt watching advertising instead of being non-productive like now? Toss.

And that's that.

The mailbox, opened again

It's been awhile since the mailbox was opened. Big mistake. Full of slain trees as always.....

First up, Vanguard is telling me that I get to pay no fees. Nice, that.

Second, credit union telling me that I earned yet another dollar.

Now for the junkier junk.

CITI Business Services is offering me a zero percent credit card. Hmmmm. Go to the back of the application and read the terms and conditions. 13.24 percent for purchases, sez variable, could mean more. Cash advance is 23.34 percent, if late 32.24 percent or more. Simon LeGree is alive and well it seems.

Cary Fitness 19 would like me to go to the gym to get fit. Already there....I do work for a living.

AT&T would like me to watch advertising and pay for it. Nah.

IRS liked it so much that I was sending in my estimated income taxes, they sent me preprinted forms and envelopes. They want me to pay postage as usual.

NC sez they didn't get any income tax form for 2004. Simple reason....I wasn't working in NC in 2004....I didn't even live here. Letter tomorrow along with documentation.

Wachovia....wants me to refinance my mortgage through them. Only problem......what mortgage?

Performance Bicycle catalog, all sorts of shiny new stuff including clothes....shiny skin tight clothes. Hey, I ride old steel in blue jeans. Live with it.

Bed, Bath & Beyond flyer....I used to know folks who worked for em'. Nah.

Vanguard, yet more literature on one of my funds. The fund does well and the info is online. Tossed unopened.

KHovianian Homes, hoping to sell me a McMansion....nah.

Lifetime Fitness, yet another gym membership. Hey, just work for a living, all the exercise a body doesn't want.

Verizon Wireless wants to sell me a cellphone. Nope, got one already and the thing works entirely too well.

USPS would like me to give a lot and send it via them. Giving a lot already....it's called taxes.

Town of Cary sez I should conserve water and not irrigate my yard. No problem, no yard.

Ethan Allen would like me to buy expensive furniture.....probably made in China. Toss.

Bike Nashbar, yet another bike catalog....toss.

Clipper Magazine....coupons for eating out, real estate out in the middle of nowhere, and buying expensive junk. Toss.

Clearwire Wireless Broadband....prefer DSL, and wireless broadband isn't all that secure anyway.

Midweek Values, More dead tree, this by the N and O. Toss, recycle.

Campmor catalog. My camping days are over. Forever and one day. Toss.

Maxwell. Volkswagon . Volvo . Subaru would like me to buy an oil change for double what Atlantic Tire does it. Nah. Toss.

Unwanted Mail Call.....or Paper Spam

Once again, I have been called on to contribute to the consumer economy, to do my duty and spend money. So, instead of just tossing and shredding (credit card offers must always be shredded), let's take a look.

Lumber Liquidators.......colour flyer, lotsa nice pictures and some guy named Ty Pennington. Who he? Ah, lets check the Wiki. ".......... is a carpenter, TV personality, and a former fashion model." Pass, don't need a floor right now, and don't like prices quoted as "low as".

Great Clips.......hair "cuttery"as opposed to a proper barber shop that has a spittoon on the floor. Last time, I said, "I want a haircut and I got money". Not polite but the cashier asked for the third time, my phone number. Still, least thematic of the hair slash and burn places.

Furniture Direct.......Expensive, overstuffed or ornate furniture, probably made in China. The "Home Theater" recliners, talk about couch potato-ism. Toss.

Pet Supermart......optic nerve straining flyer in yellow and red.... toss.

Food Lion.....nah, Kroger closer, but they are all the same, customer loyalty cards, prices, and all that. Toss.

Gerber's Life Insurance Company.....selling life insurance on infants and children. Really. All I got is a fat feline. Toss.

AARP Life Insurance Program......actually New York Life. They want me to get life insurance. Nah. My assets would more then cover the disposal of my corpus. Also some measly amount of "up to $15,000". Bet the premiums are way up there. Toss.

American Express Business Gold cards Rewards program.....wants me to get one of their cards and will reward me points. What are points, some new currency? I like the "pay now" system.....so much cheaper. Lotsa small print on the backside, like annual fee of forty bucks and they can do anything they want to me. Shred. Toss.

AT &T...... thanks me for "choosing" them. Actually they swallowed up Ma Bell South. Shred. Toss.

Pershing LLC....wants me to pay up for the privilege of owning a losing stock. Think I'll close it instead....save, call Vanguard.

Shopwise....... asks me if I've seen some missing kid that's 43 years old. Huh. Toss.

Countrywide Home Loans....informs me that mortgage rates are down and that I should refinance my ARM. Lie. MSNBC quote, "Rates on 30-year mortgages jumped to the highest level in five weeks.......". Also I have NO mortgage. Borrowing money in this economic climate is not a good idea. Pay off everything. Shred. Toss.

Looks like I'll be contributing to my business instead.

Committing economic crime.

This is a consumer based economy. So what am I doing right now. Not consuming. I am not supporting my fellow consuming Americans. Of course that feeling of guilt is absent. They aren't supporting me either.

Let's see the latest haul from the mail box.

The Discover Card. Fine print is pretty interesting. Oooh they can smack me for 29.88 percent. Ouch. Into the shredder.

Shopwise is here. Nope, haven't seen that missing kid. Nope, don't need cheap contacts, can't eat pizza, thanks, I build my PCs anyway, and don't collect quarters except in change....NEXT!

Food Lion...hmmmm. The Kroger is closer. Same prices.

Papa John's, pizza is not my food of choice anymore. This thing called Lactose Intolerance. Much cheaper to avoid the stuff then spend money on pills for it. Also, the best pizza is made by real Italians. Giovanni, how I miss your Sicialian!

Butterfly Life....nope, prefer to get paid to sweat, also for the other gender.....Next!

Farm and Ranch Auto Sales want's to sell me a used car..... already got one that works....and is paid for.

Vonage VOIP....hmmm. I used to have to support a network that supported VOIP. Still ruins my sleep thinking about it and I've been out of the trade for two years.

Another Butterfly Life....those poor trees. Isn't one flyer enough per person?

Two from Netflix. One's a huge envelope. Poor mail carrier. I see that guy in his truck. He really does need his truck. When employed, I buy used DVDs, when not, I watch the same old, same old.

Vanguard, yes I have Vanguard. Been making money like a bandit, but do they need to send info snail mail when it's bookmarked on my Firefox?

Time Warner Cable wants me to pay to watch advertising, get telemarketers over their VOIP, and semi-high speed on line. I know what the network is like here. Not good. Still, at least my TWX stock is finally doing well. Toss.

Dell....Intel inside. Sorry, AMD spoken here only. Also I build better machines cheaper.

Clearwire Wireless Broadband. Better open it just in case. Pass. I'm locked in with my current provider anyway. Also it sucks updating all the email addresses.

Campmor camping catalog. I quit sleeping outdoors years ago. Toss.

Midweek Values...A whole slue of stuff, unfinished furniture food, whatever.....dropped into the pile.

Sportclips...4 bucks off what price? Weird place that I walked into once. It had bleacher seats in the waiting area, old gym lockers and chain link fences. Theme is good for parks. Barber Shops....not.

The Cleaning Authority informs me that the wrong people are cleaning my house. Well, some days, no one cleans this dump! Maybe I should pay myself to clean this place. Bet I charge less......

Valpak. Thick sealed envelope that only gets opened because it would choke the shredder in one mass.

And that is it from the mailbox.